Let me begin by saying that the title isn’t necessarily reflective of what the post is actually about. It is not naming and shaming or even listing out all the attributes of ‘the very worst missionary’. In fact, it is simply a place where I’m going to throw out my thoughts on the following: What does a missionary ‘look’ like? Do you have to go far to be a missionary? How do you even know if you are meant to be a missionary? Like I iterate in most of my posts, I don’t actually have the answers. I’ll just set the scene with what I may think or feel but that doesn’t make it true. Perhaps like you, I am on the journey that is figuring out some of these things along the way. I do believe I know where and who those truths come from. So please be patient with me as I too, try to search the Bible for more of those truths. As for the title? Well, I use to follow a blog called Jamie, the very worst missionary. She made me laugh and sometimes I couldn’t believe she was brave enough to share a particular thought with the world, especially as a missionary :0 ! But it was always her honesty that struck me, as she never claimed to be ‘the very best missionary’. So with these thoughts and as the sentences unfold, I aim for one thing. It’s not to be the very best missionary but it’s actually to be honest and transparent with you, the readers. In order to save this from being one extremely long, drawn out post, I’m going to break this up into parts, so please stay tuned…
A little about me.
First of all, I will not claim any title for myself as I start to write this. I will not say. Hello, I’m Erin. I’m a teacher…youth worker… youth pastor…missionary….whatever other name that could fill in that blank. I’ll just say. Hello, I’m Erin. ‘Cause sometimes, if I am honest, I’m not quite sure where I fit in with it all. Sometimes, I don’t ‘feel’ like some of those things and it leaves me wondering: well what does it mean to be any of those? What exactly is a missionary?
From a young age, 99% of the time, when asked the questions of ‘ What would you like to be when you grow up?’. I was quite confident and excited to reply with ‘an art teacher’. However, I do remember this one time of replying with the answer of ‘a missionary.’ Did I just say this because it was the Sunday school thing to say? I don’t know or even remember the motive. Besides this and the moments that I went on mission trips or volunteered for some sort of outreach activity, I pretty much imagined myself in the art room of a school. This is what I worked towards for many years, its what I did for a while, and its what I occasionally will ponder about whenever I see students pour out of the doors of the local highschool.
If you are wondering how I went from the art room to the church, I have gone into more detail in the post An Unexpected Journey. For now, I’m going to skip those details and focus a bit more on the subject of being called. I guess the first question that pops into my head is, ‘does someone have to be called to missions’? And if so, what does that even look like? How do you know you have been called and how can you even be sure it’s of God?
I think as Christians, if we are to follow Jesus, we each play a missional role. In Mark chapter 4 and Matthew 28, we read about Jesus asking us to be fishers of men and to go into all the world and make disciples. It doesn’t mention that only certain people are to do this but that we EACH have a part to play in sharing the good news. How can we even keep these things to ourselves when we experience this new life that Christ brings about within us? I always felt passionate and adamant in sharing God in our ‘secular’ (even though I sometimes cringe in reservation at using that word) workplace, in our communities, on our sports field and within our extra curricular activities and past times. I don’t think this is reserved for those only in full time missions or ministry. I think its each of our responsibility and it should be our joy to share our lives with Christ, with one another. I believe that as we follow God and understand more of who He is, as we look to the example of Jesus- we understand that the heart and the intention is always something to flow out into the people around us and not to be kept to ourselves. So what about ‘the call’ to be a missionary? How is that different?
I don’t really, fully know or understand. I believe that we serve an all-knowing God and from this, I trust that He sees needs and reasons that sometimes we don’t. God, being outside of time and even our little world, can see why so and so should go to such and such in order to spread His love and His news. That is my foundation for when pondering the why’s and how’s for God sending people to the ends of the earth. Why did He send my friend from California to Ireland, while I’m here in New Zealand and someone from New Zealand is overseas serving elsewhere? I don’t have those answers but I trust that God does. I think that as we journey with God…as He reveals Himself to us through His Word…as we come to Him seeking guidance… as we wonder what to do and where to go….that He is indeed faithful in leading us. I don’t believe there is a one-fits-all formula in how each of our paths unfold and I have only experienced my story of how God brought me to New Zealand. I do think that the common denominator answer to ‘being called’ will incorporate spending time with God through digging into scripture, being on our knees and serving others. I know that sounds very general! However, it becomes personal and particular when we open our hands in surrender and say ‘God, show me!’. I remember one of the verses that stood out to me during that time in taking the steps to leave Ireland, was from Jeremiah 33.3. It says Call to me and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things. God may keep us in a waiting period but He will show us. He will lead us to where He wants us to go. I also think that He will give us a peace about it and it is that, as well as His faithful character, that we can hold onto. Sometimes people feel called to a particular place or to a specific people group or need. For me, I just always wanted to come to New Zealand and as things unraveled, I guess a little of that desire began to make more sense. God might lay things especially on our heart beforehand or even during but it will always be about serving Him and serving others. Do you think God wants you to stay within your ‘secular’ job and share Him as the opportunities arise? Do you believe God wants you to go somewhere with the intention and primary purpose of sharing Christ with others? Are you going to consider being called?
If you have found this somewhat thought provoking and wish to read more, please keep an eye out for part 2, The Missionary.
Here is a photo taken from my journal in 2011, where I was listing possible options for the future. I don’t even remember contemplating ‘missions’ in NZ at that time, but I guess, sometimes God lays things on our hearts that we don’t quite understand at the time.